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Trump Urges Americans to Wait in Parking Lot for Vaccine And Buses Will Pick Them Up - The New Yorker

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A line of Trump supporters in a parking lot
Photograph by Caitlin O'Hara / Getty

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what his campaign staff touted as his “November surprise,” Donald J. Trump on Sunday told the American people to wait in a parking lot for a coronavirus vaccine and buses will pick them up.

“Go to the nearest parking lot, and soon there will be a bus,” he said. “Very, very soon.”

Trump said that, in order to pick up all three hundred and thirty million Americans from parking lots, he had secretly launched a program called Operation Warp Bus.

“There will be shiny, gleaming buses to take you to the vaccine,” Trump said. “Just wait.”

Appearing on CNN, Dr. Anthony Fauci took a slightly different tack regarding Trump’s plan to pick up the entire population of the United States in buses.

“There are no damn buses,” Fauci said. “Please, make it stop.”

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Trump Urges Americans to Wait in Parking Lot for Vaccine And Buses Will Pick Them Up - The New Yorker
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