We arrive in the world with a narrow zone of comfort. Wet, cold, hungry, overstimulated, bored — and we start loud, annoying exhalations (crying). We manage two hours of crying every day in the first few weeks of our life.
This impatience continues. I doubt you love inching traffic, long checkout lines, slow internet, or someone who takes eight minutes to come to the point. I struggle with impatience on most days. It starts with brushing my teeth in the morning. Many days I wonder if there is any incremental benefit of going past 90 seconds.
The time it takes for the water to turn hot in the shower feels such a drag. As the temperatures plummet, I know I will struggle with waiting for the car engine to warm up before starting driving.
As a physician, I know better. The opposite of patient isn’t impatient; it’s anxious, angry, injured, or even dead. In research, impatience has been associated with a higher risk of diabetes, heart disease, accelerated aging, accidents, depression, anxiety, marital dissatisfaction, addictions, all kinds of rage, even early death.
While impatience is partly biological, at least half of our impatience depends on the choices we make. The faster the internet at home, the lower our patience. We start getting impatient with a website that takes more than two seconds to load. Eating too much fast food also increases our impatience.
Allow me to suggest one idea to cultivate patience. Pick a moment of the day when you are most likely to be impatient. It could be getting kids ready in the morning, while driving, or another time of the day. For the next week, choose to live that moment with extra patience. Add music, notice extra details, and embody extra kindness. You might notice that your five minutes of patience spills into the rest of the day.
In the middle of this pandemic, we need tremendous patience to continue making the right decisions and not let the virus fatigue our resolve. We must act as role models of patience and thoughtful actions to our children. Patience can indeed save our life and others’.
I will share additional ideas on patience next week.
In friendliness,
Amit
Dr. Amit Sood answers your questions about stress, resilience, happiness, relationships, and related topics in his column. Email dearfriend@postbulletin.com.
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October 20, 2020 at 05:52PM
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