For years and years and years and years, celebrities have been flocking to yachts, and paparazzi have been flocking to the briny depths in which those yachts motor. And it’s been really fun to watch through long lenses: Leonardo DiCaprio on boats before and after the Oscars; Rihanna on a different boat somewhere else; the Kardashian-Jenners boating together and apart. Earlier this month, Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles were kissing on a boat. Alex Rodriguez is on a boat right now as we speak, probably.
And now, the thing has happened. The thing which the past two decades in yachting felt like it was leading up to all along: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were on a yacht this weekend in St.-Tropez. And better yet: There are some only slightly grainy, well-framed photos of Affleck with his hand on Lopez’s butt while she’s lying face down, just like he did the last time they dated, in her 2002 music video for “Jenny From the Block.”
In wider lens shots published on the Daily Mail, there are clearly team members alongside them, one of whom has a large, professional-grade camera. Celebrities of this level are always surrounded by at least some staff, so this isn’t unusual. But it seems they’re up to something here, no? There is one compelling theory out there that they are recreating the “Jenny From the Block” music video. Caissie St. Onge, Busy Philipps’s former showrunner and current podcast cohost, put forth this thesis in an Instagram post:
This is a conspiracy theory I can get on board with. It’s way more fun than Ted Cruz is the Zodiac killer or the moon landing never happened or Jeff Bezos is not an alien or a reptile. The watch from the video, the shots of the couple on a balcony and through a hedge, Affleck’s hand placement. It’s all gotta add up to something and that something has gotta be a recreation of their 2002 music video for “Jenny From the Block” right in time for its 20th anniversary.
Listen, would it be better if these two were just doing all of this just for them? For no reason but because? And wouldn’t it be even better if they were executing throwback gestures to mess with us? Contrary to St. Onge, I certainly think so. I would have no choice but to give it up for two true masters, who are creating a kind of Sleep No More experimental theater, but on the world stage. There they are reflecting our reflections of them back at us, so that we might see ourselves and our strange obsessions in the clear, blinding light of day for perhaps the first time in our whole lives. That’s how negging works! Run us over with a dump truck and spit on us, Bennifer!
Look, whatever it is, we will happily take whatever content these two are giving us. In the words of another yacht lover, cousin Greg from acclaimed television show Succession, “If it is to be said, so it is.” Now, we sit back and await the scene where Affleck is pumping gas, and hope that whatever these two are making together, if they are in fact making something, that it includes commentary on the commentary on the commentary. The circle of content must continue to turn.
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July 27, 2021 at 01:44AM
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Wait, So Are Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Doing a Whole Meta-Tabloid Thing Now? - Vanity Fair
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